Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
