Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
