So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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