we have officially lost it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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