Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
