i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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