i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
