Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize