Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
