i jhust puked up my retainher.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My pussy is not your playground.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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