I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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