I'm going to jail i love you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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