your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
