I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
