Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize