Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
