GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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