I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
