Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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