I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
