Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
