Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
