If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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