I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
