i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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