haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need a beard to bite.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
