he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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