I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
