it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
