i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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