They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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