My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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