If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
