This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
