Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
