We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
