He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize