I must be too annoying 4 u.
My balls are so social today.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
porn star boner night. come get it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
