I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
