He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
