remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize