We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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