the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
