i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
