i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
