Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
two words...techno handjob
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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