I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
