he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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