You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize