But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
