Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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