True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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