I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dear god my vagina.
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