don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
