I am spending my child support on dildos
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
