That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
