Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
