who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
