OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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