Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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