How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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