Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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