Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wish my penis had an off switch
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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