hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
