You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
