After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize